Stuff

TGIF. Another Friday arrives and another week gone. The predictable and reassuring cycle of the work week continues, and even though we are like the cute little hamsters at their wheels, we are blissfully not aware of it on Friday and actually look forward to enjoying the weekend, which is the establishment's way of letting us think that we actually have "lives." Uh huh. Thanks?

Some items are outlined below (meaning: I cannot focus enough at the present time to post on any one subject):

School is very important: During the time that I was away, supposedly in the witness protection program, I took a class at the educational institution at which I am employed full-time (because I am also employed part-time). I have to say that I enjoyed the class, even though my classmates could have all been my grandchildren. I also have to say that I did learn some things in the class and that it was interesting and useful. Eventually, according to my master plan, I will amass 36 graduate credits and then I will have a master's degree. Do I really desire this? No. Can I keep on getting promoted without it? Again, no. Thus, my efforts in this direction. I will probably be at retirement age by the time I finish, but I'm pigheaded that way. I am very proud to say that I got an "A" in the class. I have never really focused much on grades but I find that to get a good grade a person just has to be very clear on what the instructor wants and then just give it to them. So if the syllabus of a class spells out that the margins on your paper are supposed to be an inch all around, just do it that way. Instructors, via their huge and uncontrollable egos, get upset if their tiniest instructions are not followed. So, I learned early on to just make sure I got all the details of the assignments, attended all the classes (I always went to school even sick), and really listened to all the lectures. Simple really, a chimp could do it. Or a Republican.

Boyfriendlessness: Yeah, the guy hasn't called me and I am not going to call him either. Pigheaded, I said. I had a weak moment on Wednesday morning. I woke up thinking, "What am I doing? Why can't I just be done with this and call him and find out WTF happened?" I came in to work all resolved and shit to call him and behave like a normal person. Then, my friend and co-worker, S, who is by the way my emotional and spiritual twin (that's another post), said to me, "DO NOT CALL THAT MOFO." And went on to ask me why I had even considered calling him. I sheepishly said in a whiny little voice, "Well, that way I will know why he is acting like this." I blinked a couple of times while she inhaled, I knew something was coming. It was. She said, "You don't know why he's acting like this? Because he doesn't give a crap about you. There. You have your answer. If you call him you put yourself in the situation where he's going to have to spell out the fact to you that you are not important to him. Then you'll feel stupid and dumped. Don't do it." God bless my friend and coworker, S. She woke me up from the stupid little dream I was dreaming that morning. Can you imagine if I did drugs? Too much confusion as it is. She is totally right. She is also correct about another thing, every day it gets a little bit better. I am getting used to the singleness again. I am feeling better and no longer am I spending every single moment wondering why and asking myself what I did wrong. S is a good friend. And so is my sister who has listened to me go on and on about this situation and analyze it from every angle and has thoughtfully and lovingly provided intelligent imput. I am blessed with great people in my life, with the exception of my ex-boyfriend.

53: Is it possible that I will soon be three years older than a half century? Yes, it is possible and it's sad what 53 looks like! Pathetic is a better word. Anyway, I'm here and it does not hurt to breathe so I'm lucky. I have another very dear friend and coworker whom I love very much, G, who recently overcame colon cancer and is now recovering. He is a very intelligent and warm person, took care of his mother years ago when she was sick and nearly went bankrupt because he stopped working to nurse her. Now he's sick and he has no one to help him. He comes and sits in my "confessional" (my office is very small) once or twice a week, we chew the fat and sometimes I trim his eyebrows. He said to me a couple of weeks ago that he doesn't want to die or anything but that if he does he feels he has lived a wonderful life and would be prepared to go. How many people see things this way? I admire his courage and his outlook and I want to be just like him.

Happy Hour: The world does not end just because one solitary man refused to walk me to my car on a dark and scary night, so I'm off to Casa Juancho later for my one night a week of drinks, dancing and fun. I did my nails last night and washed hair this morning, so I'm presentable and I have a cute little outfit (ok it's not little) with cute sandals to wear, which I will be changing into in about an hour and a half.

To all: have a nice weekend and I'll be checking your blogs first thing on Monday. It's on my calendar. And hey! Hey!!! Be careful out there!