Friday Once More

Anyone who knows me knows that my weekend really starts on Wednesday afternoon sometime after lunch. After that hour, yes I'll be on the clock till five and I'll be in on Thursday and Friday, but in real terms, production for the week has stopped and will resume sometime near lunchtime on Monday morning or after three cups of coffee, whichever comes first.

I'm sure I hear some of you groaning, probably those of you who supervise other people in offices and have to crack the whip every now and then to get stuff done. Oh, but that is not my case. If I was forced to autodiagnose my psychiatric shortcomings, I would say that I am definitely bi-polar. I find "schizophrenic" too strong a term so I use bi-polar. I am very low energy in the mornings, to the point where most of my good and bad China has been broken then, and every day I have to wipe enormous spills of coffee grinds, or orange juice, or I have to pick stuff off the butter on the toast after it goes butter-side down on the floor. That is one thing someone should research, the reason why anything buttered will hit the floor butter-side down, never, EVER the other way. But it's ok, I apply the five-second rule very strictly. The other occupants of my home are awakened (awoken?) from a deep sleep every dawn (dawn for me is 7:15 am) by the sweet clang of dropped kitchen utensils or the deafening crash of plates or cups on the tile floor. What the hey, they get fresh coffee and something to dunk in it, don't they?

Most of the time, I don't remember the ride to work, I guess I'm on auto-pilot, but this seems to work pretty well since I have an excellent driving record, mostly because I give the car in front of me a lot of distance just in case they are assholes or, like me, they are on auto-pilot too, which most of them are, judging from their driving skills or lack thereof.

By lunchtime, or after three cups of coffee, I am my usual productive self. As a model of bipolarity, I get a lot of stuff done after the coffee kicks in and usually I do several things at the same time and my to-do list gets greatly reduced after these bouts of manic activity. I realize I drive people insane during my crazy spurts of energy. If I have to call someone to get an answer, I will call repeatedly until I get the info I need. I'm nothing if not persevering and a pain in the butt while in this mode.

Not at all weirdly, I do not get the after-lunch sleepiness that everyone around me seems to get, especially after a high-carbohydrate lunch. I stay wired, and when I get home, even after working my part-time job several nights a week at the Thanksgiving Day Parade store, I need to sit on my porch and unwind for like 20 minutes before I shower and plop on the bed to watch whatever is on the tube (the boob one) or to read any one of a number of books that I have been simultaneously reading (but not finishing) for the past few months.

That being said, and it being 4:39 pm in my part of the world, a part where there are giant "palmetto bug" cockroaches and 758 different kinds of palm trees, not to mention turkey vultures nesting in the high-rise windows of swanky law offices downtown (which I think is the coolest thing), I am going to start preparing for Content Hour and for this glorious weekend, with my hunky boyfriend and my two sons at home. Life is good!