Suicide Blonde

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

More Fun Stuff, Continued

I am proud of the fact that I was able to log in to my own blog two days in a row! NOW I'm ready to conquer the world...

Thank you to Vicus for his brilliant assessment of my life in his comment to yesterday's post. To say that my sons are accident prone is a gross understatement. At the ER they know them and me by name and my sons in turn know all the doctors and the staff, nuff said.

So what else is new?

I am boyfriendful
Yes people, I have been dating a certain gentleman whom I met just as my last so-called boyfriend dumped me. The one that was sweet to me and was a great dancer. I feel really lucky because my new BF is such a sweet, funny, nice, cute guy and so far we have gotten along great! Yes, ok, that's how it started with the last guy too, but I'm crossing my fingers that this will be a good relationship for both of us. I'm done thinking in long-term terms, I'm done trying to see or plan ahead (not that I ever really shone at this). But really, what is life except a long chain of hours at work interspersed (is that a word?) with some Happy Hours and maybe a party, or a good movie or a nice dinner. That's all it really is. Plus hours spent giving birth, worrying about loved ones, cooking, and oh yeah, cleaning, washing, folding clothes, etc.

Last Monday, after coming home from the ER with my staple-headed son, I proceeded to make Marinara sauce to have with some Angel Hair for supper. After doing dishes for like two hours afterwards (for some reason cooking generates a heck of a lot of dishes) I was finally able to take a shower and drop into bed. Well, from one second to the next I started sneezing and my throat started aching and I got one of the worst flus (flues?) I have ever had. I even got fever and chills as well as pain all over my body, even my eyelashes hurt. I spent Tuesday through Thursday curled up in the fetal position, shivering and looking sideways at Jerry Springer and Dr. Phil episodes while sucking on Vitamin C lozenges. Needless to say, I felt like stabbing myself with the remote control but it was way too dull to do me any real damage. I don't know whether it was the flu or the deficient level of television viewing that led to some deep, philosophical thoughts. What is this world coming to? People actually fight barefoot over toothless 300 pound boyfriends/girlfriends? Women actually bare their breasts to obtain cheap necklaces made from colored plastic beads? Some couples have no idea who their baby's father is? I, too, can make a better living and some cute friends by studying massage therapy at one of those unaccredited colleges?
Do I really want to get over this flu to go back into that world?
Luckily, by Thursday night I was able to get up from the bed for more than five minutes and I'm still recovering from this thing that has taken over my upper and lower respiratory tracts. I wouldn't wish this thing even on my ex-boyfriend.

Car Repair Thing
My new boyfriend has a good friend who's a mechanic. It should be a rule that all boyfriends have a friend like this. This guy is (finally) going to fix my car's air conditioner and do away with the mystery noise that has been plaguing me since the beginning of the year. I'm kind of relieved that I'm finally getting this done because all the times I went to the mechanic I knew and frequented in the past was like a circus, or a Fellini movie even. If I were a mechanic and someone brought me their car with a noise and I could not for the life of me figure out what was making that noise, I would march right out into the waiting area with my nifty clipboard and tell that customer that we could not find the reason for the noise. Did my former mechanic do this? Noooooooo, he didn't. He proceeded to change my front shocks, balance my tires, flush and replace the transmission something-or-other, all at great cost to me, with the results that I would drive out of the place hearing the gosh-darned noise. The last time I went back to them after they "fixed" my car, the mechanic drove with me, heard the noise and said,"Ok, I know what that noise is!" I went back to sit in front of the TV in the waiting area and finish the crossword puzzle someone else had started. When he was done, he called me into the shop and I shook my head in disbelief when I saw him. He was holding up this big-ass (ok, I'm done with gosh-darn) axle or something like that and said, "The noise is gone!" To which I replied "So what is that part you are holding up?" To which HE replied, "This is what makes your car a 4-wheel drive, I removed it and it no longer makes that noise." To which I said, "I wanted a 4-wheel drive vehicle, that's why I have one. Please put the part back on the car before I sue the shop." To which he just turned his back on me and got to work putting the part back in. The car still had the noise. I think he should study massage therapy and give up on trying to impersonate a real mechanic.

I have to get some work done around here to earn my pay. Sigh. More updates if I can log in tomorrow.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Dios Mio, Man!

I'm sure you have all been wondering where I was... I was right here, I swear. Most likely you will not believe me when I tell you that I have been trying to log in to my own darn blog for three months! But you would be wrong not to believe me because it's true. This from a woman who sometimes believes herself to be the next dictator of the world. Anyway, I would have had my own IT department to deal with these things.

Being "IT-challenged" I tried a bunch of things to try to log in to my blog. Nothing worked. I emptied my cookies, I lowered my privacy setting, etc. to no avail. Finally, I came upon Firefox and downloaded it and voila as they say in one of those EU countries, it worked!

So now I'm back. I missed being here and I missed all my blog buddies. Thank you to all of you who faithfully checked in every now and then and left me beautiful, heartfelt messages such as, and I quote, "??????????" (from Ziggi), "Mars to Florida" (from WW), "Yoo-hoo" (Cherrypie), and others.

Updates on Weirdnesses and the Like

The kids: My boys are doing great. Let's start with the oldest: During a training exercise with live ammo, a ricochet bullet hit him in the forearm. His dad told me two days after it happened because as he said "Your son didn't want you to worry." Well, any father knows that a mother should be informed immediately of anything happening to one of her offspring. Being a mother supercedes any other wish of anybody else in the world to not let her know what is going on. I see it this way. After several hours spent calling my son who was hurt on the other side of the continental USA and not being able to reach him, I enlisted the help of one of my Marine Mom friends. Finally, a half hour later my son called me and said "Mom, I'm ok, I just had surgery and they removed the bullet from my arm. Quit calling everybody, my sergeant came in and told me to call you!" I thought that was kind of cute! Anyway, the bullet spared bone and tendons and just lodged in the meat in his forearm and he's fine now.

Big Breath.

My younger son has had another scrape with the law. I don't want to write about it here but it was a silly thing he did (just like the last time) and he ended up being arrested and had to be bailed out. His dad (bless his soul after all) hired a lawyer and hopefully the case will be dismissed (please pray for him). Then, last Monday while at work I get a call and it is my son telling me that he fainted in the college cafeteria and that he had hit his head on the tile floor and he was bleeding from the back of his head. After screaming at all my coworkers that I was leaving b/c my son had fainted ("He what??") and had hurt himself, I ran the four blocks to the cafeteria on heels in like two minutes. Rescue had already gotten there and had hooked him up to those machines and my son's pulse was dipping very low so they took him to the ER. If I wasn't so worried about my son, I would have enjoyed the ride in the ambulance RIGHT NEXT TO THE DRIVER!!! Long story just a bit shorter, they said it was a vasovagal syncope which translated means "What the hell, do you think we know every little thing that people have???" But all his bloodwork came back fine and so did the CAT scan. I'm leaving early to take him to the ER again this afternoon to have the four staples removed from the back of his head. Sigh.

I will update more tomorrow, gotta go see to the staples!