Suicide Blonde

Monday, June 26, 2006

On Vacation... Please leave a message...(beep)

If I'm not here, please leave a message... I will be gone until after the 4th of July jamboree/holiday/fireworks display. I wish all of you, well not all of you, only the "colonials," a very wonderful and rewarding Independence Day! As they say in Brooklyn, "Love yous guys!"

Friday, June 23, 2006

Friday at Last

It's Finally Friday. I am feeling much better, which can be interpreted as: I'm only coughing my lungs out occasionally, rather than constantly as I was in the first part of this week. To tell you the truth, I don't know how I'm still alive, this week was not easy what with being sick and all PLUS the added affliction of not having air conditioning in my Jeep. Worse than coughing your brains out is coughing them out while you are soaked in perspiration at a red light in a Jeep in South Florida's lovely hot humidity with not even the faint trace of a breeze. Aaahhh! I'm so glad the week is over.

Also this week: I have never, ever forked over $507.61 so willingly as yesterday when the guy at the shop billed me for the repairs to my car. I almost cried, I almost kissed the mechanic, I almost left them a tip! I have AC in my car, people! Does it happen to you ladies in blogland that you take your car in for a repair, for example the air conditioning, and the mechanic always comes back with a look on his face like, "Lady, you better sit down, cuz this is bad news..." This happens to me every single time. Well, my car not only had AC problems, which was easy to diagnose since I didn't have one un-frizzy hair on my head or an inch of dry clothing when I rode in my car, but it also had radiator problems, it needed a hose replaced, the windshield wiper fluid receptacle had a leak and so on and so forth. I'm holding off on doing the other repairs for the simple reason that those repairs would cost more than the car originally did in the first place. It must be that I'm a woman and all and they figure I don't know Jack about mechanical car thingies. It doesn't help that when something goes wrong with the car I can just point and say "Smoke came out of there" or "It is making a horrible T-Rex sound like in the movie Jurassic Park" or "The car doesn't stop when I step on the brake thingie." It also does not help that when they try to explain what is wrong with the car (and I just know that the other mechanics are stifling laughter right behind us) I can only look back blankly and blink several times before I admit: "Is that a serious thing? What does that mean?" I have to admit that several times I came in and I had no idea what was wrong with the car but I tried to bluff it and I said "I think it's the carburetor" so I would at least sound like I knew SOMETHING about cars. Of course, they did not buy it and I think they like seeing me come in because they are guaranteed a couple of laughs for that day, plus I may tip them or something if they fix something important, like the Air Conditioning.

These shop guys are used to me and know that they can just add things to my repair bill which I will never in a million years discover that it shouldn't be there. "What is this flea bath charge for 69dollars and 32cents?" So we both play our parts and come away happy.

On quite a different note, my older son comes home tomorrow to spend 12 days with us before his next deployment. I am overjoyed and at the same time pre-worried sick. Making plans to make him all the dishes he loves (or to have my mom prepare them, yeah, that's better) and take him to the beach and shower him with love and let him have a wonderful time before he's gone for 6-7 months. Wish me luck!

Have a wonderful weekend!

Monday, June 19, 2006

Is Monday over yet?

I have a horrible cough and sore throat and I should not have been at work today except my supervisor is on vacation so I have to work my ass off until he gets back. No fun, here, people (sniff). I even have to wear proper clothes like suits and stuff. No jeans and sneakers until he comes back.

It's even worse considering that I passed this same affliction to my boyfriend who is not even able to sleep at night from the hacking cough and HE cannot take a sick day this week because his boss is off spending megabucks at some theme park with his spoiled rotten kids and his shopaholic wife. How unfair is that? So we are both walking around like zombies, sucking Ricolah's to no avail. Nobody better cut me off in traffic, that's for sure.

OK, maybe I should have waited til Tuesday to post... Mondays are rough. Tomorrow will be another day. Think happy little thoughts...

Thursday, June 15, 2006


I can't seem to focus these days...My mind is going off into tangents all the time and so the title of my blog and the following ramblings.

Critter news: I am the proud co-mother of two baby pigeons! My office is on the fourth floor and we have a balcony where my friend and I sneak off to for "sanity time." It is full of pigeons. About a month or so ago we noticed some hot sexual activity going on in the pigeon community and a bit later on we observed how a couple of these formerly copulating feathered friends made a little nest of twigs and dead leaves on the balcony. A few days after that we saw the female sitting on two tiny white eggs. We started leaving bread crumbs out for her on the balcony. First one chick hatched and then the other. They were ugly, tiny, hungry little things. We have watched as they have grown almost to their mother's size. They are still ugly but cute. And they are still flapping wings constantly so their mother feeds them. Yep, kids are the same in every species.

Oops: Yesterday I called in "sick." I have a bunch of sick days since I hardly ever get sick (shouldn't have said that considering my superstitious nature). Instead of being sick I went off to the beach with my boyfriend. Hello??? I forgot that usually one acquires a tan or a sunburn at the beach. This morning I frantically searched for a good excuse or reason why, if I had been "sick" the day before, I would today be sporting a fabulous bronze skin color. I remembered that my boss would be leaving today on a vacation so I thought maybe I was in the clear and would not have to give silly, untrue explanations but the man was here (why do people who are supposed to leave on vacation still go to work anyway? I will never understand that). And of course I was sitting there sporting my gorgeous tawny skin, looking certifiably un-sick. I told him that I had had a bad congestion yesterday and had gone to the beach to see if it helped clear my lungs. I coughed a bit, quite a bit as a matter of fact. Hope he bought it. I really do hate lying, but sometimes it has to be done, especially in cases where being able to meet your next mortgage payment is concerned.

Psycho babbling: Let me give you the scenario first. I have a cute boyfriend whom I've been dating for about a year. He is perfect: Mature, super-good-looking, sweet, considerate, funny, warm, sweet (it bears repeating). In short, we get along great, like doing the same things, and are having a wonderful time together. One little problem: There is not a single day that goes by that this wonderful man doesn't refer to one of his women-friends. As in: "Yes, I know that place, one of my women-friends recommended it to me a long time ago, and ..." Or: "One of my women-friends has a convertible like that, she loves it..." Who are these women-friends? Why don't I know them? I know his guy-friends, he knows all my girlfriends and I have very few guy-friends, mostly co-workers. Not people I mention all the time. Am I psycho? Should this not bother me? Other than this, he's perfect.

Sweet thing: My oldest son's girlfriend lives with us. It's a long explanation but basically she lived in the NW section of town and she wanted to attend the community college near our house. She asked me if she could stay here and I said yes. I said yes knowing that I'm creating a conflict of interest. Knowing that if they split up or argue or fight, I will be in the middle of everything which is where I don't want to be. I said yes knowing full well that I should have said No. Like the time I signed a contract to purchase an ex-boyfriend's motorcycle, but that's a different story. Anyway, she is a wonderful young woman, studies, works, really loves my son. She is very helpful around the house and is generally a pleasure. I hardly even see her as either we are both working or out of the house. Last night when I came back from the beach, she had left me a little note on my bed. She was working until 1am. I read the note, it said "Carmen, I bought a pair of shoes for you. I saw them at Ross and they looked like you so I got them for you. They are right in front of your closet." I looked and there were the cutest NineWest sandals that I have ever seen! Of course I tried them on and I'm wearing them today (You never know when that piano will fall on your head). That was such a sweet thing for her to do. Love that girl!

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Happy HNT! Careful with the Piano!!!

I made a comment on someone's blog the other day, I think it was Fronty's, about life having its ups and downs. That is a big understatement. I often wonder, and it's an important theme that takes up a lot of my "hmmmm?" moments, whether there are people in the world that actually have a shred of stability in their lives to the point that they can more or less figure out what is coming down the pike, or what is around the corner, or what piano is going to fall out of which building on their heads. Yes, this occupies a lot of my so-called thinking time.

For me, personally, the very instant that I start to feel that everything is more or less "normal" or "under control" (the very words give me chills), something happens to completely prove me wrong, and usually in the area where I would least expect crap to happen. An example: My youngest son got into a car crash last year on the 4th of July, he totalled his car and luckily he got away with only a concussion and two parents that changed from being loving and concerned while he was in the hospital to satanic dogs from hell once we knew he was ok. A week after he came home from the hospital, he borrowed his brother's car and messed up something or other on it because he went over a curb while switching CD's on the stereo (or something to that effect). His father and I told him he would have to take the bus for a while because we were kind of out of spare cars for him to destroy. About two weeks after he had been riding the bus or whining to friends to give him a ride, he asked to borrow my cute '93 jeep that I adore and that is my only MOT. I have even thought that if the engine dies, I will hitch a pony to it because I don't ever want to buy another car. Love my jeep. Have taken care of it for 14 years. It has original everything, except paint and canvas top. It's my BABY, ok? I lent it to him, thinking to myself "This guy (meaning my son) has f*cked up several cars. He has learned his lesson, I think now he will be responsible and careful while he drives." Yes, big mistake in thinking that. I lent him my car and like 2 hours later I get the call "Mom, I know you're gonna be mad, but don't scream..." He crushed in my right fender while backing out of a parking space (supposedly, I obviously don't believe him). I went apeshit, to say the least.

Another example: I have never EVER had anyone say to me "I met the man/woman of my dreams, we are so happy, we are in love, blah blah blah!!!" that the relationship lasted any more than a few months or days or even hours. This has made me so superstitious that if I ever start dating anyone that I really like and get along with well, I can't mention it because that person will sprout horns and cloven hoofs and will be gone in a cloud of dust before I can say "HUH??" This puts me in a really strange position in case I really like a guy. If the guy says to me "I really like/love you" I can only smile stupidly while trying to ward off the evil that is sure to ensue. I admit that not saying anything or trying not to even think in the possibility of a great relationship has not always helped as a couple guys have sported the horn/hooves combo anyway and trotted away, even thought I kept silent and didn't tempt the gods.

But my point is (I am NOT going to use the phrase "But I digress," if I hear it one more time I will hurl), that at least for me the last thing I expect is what usually happens. Please don't tell me then that I must figure out what it is that I would least expect and try to anticipate it because that won't work, I have tried it. For me, things always come out of the blind side. There is never a preview or a warning or a sign or anything. The piano usually just comes right down.

One some, luckily very few, days I have several up and down moments, enough to MAKE a person bi-polar or schizoid or manic-depressive. Several things will happen that will have me like a yo-yo, either tearing my hair out or giggling happily a few minutes later. Is this normal? Do I need medication?

In the words of Rod (Yes, I think you're sexy) Stewart: "Think of me and try not to laugh..."